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    You sail through dates two and three worry-free, but then it’s date four and Christmas is two days away.

    Dating an abstinent

    For the first time in my life I gave myself the chance to discover and be to live as I am, to listen and live from my heart and to love myself as I am.

    This heart-opening year allowed me to see and feel the truly beautiful, passionate, blazing love that burns inside me.

    It may cramp the style of some suitors, and it will surely limit the choices, but it can work. She was in her 50s at the time, he in his 40s (2nd marriage for both).

    My husband and I dated for over two years and were proud to have made it to the altar without dipping in each other’s cookie jars!

    This question is not specifically about the OP's personal decision indicated in that post, but is more of an open question to the single, adult 30 to 40 something female members of this board.

    Is a policy of sexual abstinence until marriage a workable real world posture for 30 to 40 something single women if they wish to form attachments with reasonably high quality male suitors in todays dating and relationship environment? IIRC, the female in question has a son, so it isn't like she is "holding on to her innocence." I surely couldn't do it, but for other people..

    I agree with your quote, “You can’t love someone until you love yourself.” It’s good that you’re reaching this conclusion at a young age and I wish you the best of luck on your journey. I say that because of this line: And that I’m trying to work on me; they have the same reaction, they either ignore it and keep trying or make a run for it.

    I’m not sure how long you’ve chosen to be abstinent, but I can say if you’re going to seriously remain abstinent as an opportunity for personal growth, then you have to fully embrace the reason why you’re remaining abstinent.

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